So, the last 2 weeks have been a drain on me physically and emotionally. The week before Thanksgiving both children got the stomach flu. Emma was throwing up about every 25 minutes from 4:30 until about 9 pm. George started the same at 8 and went until 11. The next day (Friday) Emma didn't throw up at all but was exhausted and had a fever but George kept throwing up. Saturday Emma still had a fever and George got one too. They both were consistently crabby and weren't eating. The diarrhea started on Friday and continued through the following weekend (the weekend after Thanksgiving) as well as the crabbiness. After Thanksgiving they both started getting colds - runny noses and coughs. On Monday (the 19th) I took George to the Dr. about and ear infection but he didn't have one. The this last Friday (the 24th) I ended up taking Emma to the Dr. with a temperature of 103 and she did have an ear infection. She cried the entire time the Dr. looked at her and was miserable the entire day. :(
Yesterday George had a temp too but only of 101 so we didn't take him to the Dr. and both their eyes have been draining goop.
So last week I definitely hit my breaking point. I was so exhausted and drained. Plus I wasn't communicating well with the Lord and wasn't getting the time with Him that I needed. I finally broke down this last Saturday and sobbed, telling Mike that I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I didn't know if I could do it anymore and I just didn't want to right now. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. I was so tired and so sick of taking care of everyone ... I wanted to be done - at least for a little while.
I'm still not where I want to be or even need to be emotionally to be the mom I want to be but it'll get there eventually. It's getting better - that's for sure. Today we had a hard day but a good day. Emma and I had some battles that she didn't want to lose but she doesn't get to win. The good part was that we didn't turn on the tv at all and we listened to worship music all day ... in the afternoon we twirled and lifted our arms and sang - it was so wonderful and adorable! Plus the kids loved it. I needed it!
So all in all things are getting better and I'm getting some rest and we're focusing more on what we should be focusing on - Christ!